The Open University Students Association (OUSA)
in the West Midlands

Leisure - After hours - Fun - You Name It
As if you have time!

 

Jokes are now appearing on our Message Board and those here are being updated regularly.
This allows greater flexibility and also allows YOU to add your own jokes or amusing tales to those on the Message Board whenever you feel like it.

WARNING: Some jokes may be of an adult nature.

Quizzes

 
 
Joke 1

Cartoons

Strange Breed

WAHM

Gibbletoons  

Frenetic Wanderings 1

Frenetic Wanderings 2

 



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Cartoon Strip 1
Games


 

"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like
to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New
York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000
feet midway across the Atlantic.

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines
are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will
observe that the port wing has fallen off.

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a
little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at
you.

"That's me, the copilot, and one of our flight attendants.
This is a recording."


 
 

 

Top


The couple have not been getting along for years, so the
husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her
birthday."

Well, you can imagine her disappointment.

The next year, her birthday rolls around again and he doesn't
get her anything.

She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present?"

He says, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

   

Bumper stickers we would like to see.
 

  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
  • He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
    misquoted, then used against you.
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
    blamed it on the cost of living.
  • Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
    right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  • It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
    someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
  • You can't have everything, where would you put it?
  • Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
    population.
  • The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
    who got there first.
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
  • I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
    until you hear them speak


Do you have an amusing tale, merry joke or other appropriate content to put on the Bulletin/Message Board?
Please add them but keep them cleanish and simple.

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